Foster or Adoptive PArents??

[ChrisYaughn]

My wife and I have had this laid on our hearts lately. Anybody here involved in any programs like this?

[Joshua]

Very good friends of ours are foster parents and are very involved still. They are a wealth of info and I'm sure they would be happy to share their experiences with you. They live up in PA, and are still involved now, but more on just training and teaching. PM me if you would like their contact info. I'm sure they can point you in the right direction. I would also recommend a book called "adopted for life" by Russell D. Moore. You should know it is a book written specifically from the Christian perspective.

My wife and I have adoption on our heart as well, we are looking more for overseas adoption for our first.

[Joe Little]

A good freind of mine has adopted one child, and have been in the process of adopting another, it was just about a done deal, when the government put a ban or hold on adoptions ( somewhere near Russia I think). I think it was about a month ago, and they have spent a ton of money to make it happen and it fell through and broke their heart.
Now they are looking for another child to adopt, and I think they have found a child in the states that they may get, I pray they will.
If your interested, I'm sure Jon would be happy to talk to you also, just let me know.

Good luck and God Bless.

[sytile]

My mother adopted from Russia about 10 years ago. We've had looooooong talks about it. She's willing to share her experience (less than great to say the least) with anyone looking to adopt from overseas.

[ChrisYaughn]

Our neighbors (good friends, and he is one of my go to guys when we have a huge Island) adopted a bro/sis from Guatamala. It was a long and difficult procees but there is no chance of the parents showing up one day and trying to take the kids back, which I guess is more likely with a stateside adoption.

We are really looking at Fostering right now. Found out today that in our county there were like 50 foster families 5 years ago and like 15 or so now .

[Kowboy]

Chris:

We have friends who adopted a girl and a boy as infants. Our friends are college educated, hardworking and very successful. When their kids reached late adolesence the trailer-trash genes kicked in. My friends are heartsick but just glad no one is pregnant or in jail. I'm not being negative or trying to discourage you, just be ready for anything.

Joe

[ChrisYaughn]

Joe, Gotta be carefull trying to jam Academia into Redneck Jeans(genes). YOu never know. But, If you jam Academia in one pant leg and redneck in the other. WATCHOUT .

One of the smartest guys I know has a Ph.D in Physics, teaches intro Physics at the University here. Is also a paramedic and COntractor on the side. Probably hasn't worn anything besides his cowboy boots in 30 years, but I know who I want pulling up to the scene if I ever need a paramedic.






I found out the the approval process could take as long 6 months? WOW. I had no idea. I understand the magnitude of saying a home is OK to place a child in, but when they have a need like they have now, there has to be a better way to expidite things. We'll see.

[Stone Dude]

my aunt and uncle in canada adopted a chinese girl after they had their own boy. as far as i know it has been a good experience .

If we decide to have kids, I will seriously consider adoption if my wife is up for it.

[politefab]

i adopted my daughter a little bit different situation but i still had to go through the process. i got an attorney and went through all the social service interviews some sort of observation period fallowed by the court process and a bunch of paper singeing kind of like buying a house. we had to contact the biological father it took almost a year. we are done having kids now but would adopt later on if the finances allow it

[ChrisYaughn]

My wife and I went thru the orientation.

Looks like the certification process has two major components. 20 hours of "classroom" training based on state issued videos. And a home study.

As of right now, the first training session for our county is scheduled for....?????.........
seriously, b/c of budget issues and staffing they don't know when they are going to be able to do training classes . This is NOT a reflection on the local staff. They are, as you can imagine, over worked. They are reducing payroll thru attrition and the second of two people capable of doing the training / study writing just retired. Actually she retired on the SAME day that we committed to this cause. Maybe that is prophetic. dunno



We live in a county of 60,000 or so. There are currently 8 foster families open. EIGHT!!!!! There were 5 families in the orientation ready to go and no idea when we can start the certification process.

I am not capable of saying "OK....sounds great, call us when you get time for some training classes...... ." Just not wired that way. I am currently in the process of trying to figure out a redneck workaround to the sitaution imagine that.


Apparently there are private non-profits that can do the cert process but I am not familiar yet with how they interact with the county agencies who actually have custody of the children. The non-profits seam to have thier 20 hours of classroom work set up over a long weekend, while the county agencies seem to like to schedule it 2 hours here and ther over a few months, or over a few saturdays. They are obviously fee for service, but maybe we can generat a network of sponsors. Dunno.

Other brainstorming ideas: ( keep in mind at this point I am ignorant of credentialing requirements for those writing home studies)

*Maybe I can find grad students/ seniors from the local college who can do home studies as grad work or senior
projects or something with the oversight of a credentialed teacher?

*Maybe I can get certified myself to teach the classes/write home studies by attending college classes, then
donate my time to train and certify families wanting to help.

*Maybe we can find a retired person certified to train/write studies to help out on a contract basis.

*MAybe we can start a local service like Faithbridge that certifies homes. FB seems to have a vision to change
the system. They are a non-profit that actually places kids and certifies homes and develops support sytems
for families. I don't know enough about the current system to know how to change it. A service focused simply
on certifiaction and then turning the families over to the county system would be a simpler first step



Any thoughts or experiences or ideas are appreciated. I am currently calling or stopping in to talk to anybody we might know that might know somebody or have an idea. Sorry for the rant, just had all this running around in my head and needed to get it out.


We are tossing pebbles in the pond and hoping the ripples can make a difference.

[ChrisYaughn]

Sent this to most of the people on our email list today.

We can save the whales, or the trees. And everybody can pitch in to stomp out whatever-you-have-that-you-prolly-got-from-bad-habits-anyway-itis.

But these are kids. Real life little people, with zero fault. No culpability AT ALL

Hello All,

I am sending this out to lots of different people from all walks of life that we have crossed paths with over the last few years.

It is kind of a form/generic/cathartic letter, (which I am not really inclined to) , but it is going out to a lot of people, it is what it is. I apologize in advance for the informal nature of the letter. I have sacrificed form for function on this one.

We have a problem in Bulloch County that isn't being addressed by the community. If you know me well, you know I am given to brain storming and rabbit trails so I will try to be brief. If I am making any errors in expressing the problem they are a result of honest ignorance, as I am new to this situation.



Here is the story:
I have felt the tug on my heart for a while to open our home up to foster children. We(Kim and I) signed up for an orientation thru DFCS a few weeks ago and were shocked at some of the things we found out.

The first, is that there are only 10 +/- or so Foster Homes available in Bulloch county (pop. around 70,000) (averaging needing to place 20 kids a year, or so.) These are thru DFCS, I do not think (maybe?) there are many private agencies at work in our county.

The second, due to staff shortages , there are currently NO trainings scheduled to start the certification process for us or the other 4 families who were at the orientation. (That I have been made aware of as of this writing)

What happens when they do not have homes for kids who need them?



The Solution:

I have no idea!!.

If there is an organization of private citizens in Bulloch to help with this problem I am not aware it. I am familiar with who to call to help with Habitat Houses, Cancer Walks, Humane Society, Worn Threads, ACTS ministry, Food Bank, Keep Bulloch Beautiful, etc........etc..........

BUT , when a child. Who may have never known Love or Value for an entire day of there little lives, needs someone to love them, and you want to help. Who do you call? DFCS? They are short staffed and overworked simply trying to care for the children in the system now. They have been hammered with workload and furlough days. I don't know, but if I had to guess I would say many many of those furlough days have been worked gratis.

I have more questions than answers at this point.


I do know that I am being called to do something. WE have to do something. I am trying to gain all the background knowledge I can to best know how to attack this problem at the local level.

Going Forward:

I need help. But I am not sure how or what. I have a call in to the local DFCS director and hope to hear from her soon to try and evaluate what a private group can do to help.


We have a verbal commitment from the Statesboro Down Town Development authority to sponsor us thru their Constant Contact account. They have an account and can, at no charge, sponsor us and give us a totally free full access account thru the Cares4Kids program. This email list will be used as the starter for that, as soon as we set up a 501(3)c entity. (Thank you Allen !)

Future emails should be directed to fosteringfamilies@gmail.com We will probably set up the 501(3)c as Fostering Families in Bulloch County, or some such.

I have a loose nit idea of an organization that would recruit new foster families and assist in their training and home studies. It would also serve as a clearinghouse for support information for foster families.

The training/certification is currently the bottleneck. I am having a hard time with that. Innocent kids waiting on the "responsible grown ups" to get it together to help.

These kids NEED your prayers!!!





Any insights, guidance, or references to knowledgeable people would be GREATLY appreciated.





I hope this finds you well.



Chris

cell 690-2498 (if you don't get me PLEASE leave a message, I will call you back)

[ChrisYaughn]

update

this is from an email



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello all,



G-d is bringing some great people to us who are offering their time and talents to help kids who may never have known Love.







Please forward this to anyone that you know that has a heart for kids.





We are beginning the process of formalizing some of the thoughts and ideas we have regarding forming an organization to support the Families in the foster care system in Bulloch County and the Kids in the system in Bulloch Co. I will try to keep this as succinct as I can.



PLEASE respond if you have thoughts or feedback. Especially if you think I am off base on something. I will not allow my ego to get in the way of helping these kids. ALL feedback is encouraged.





I am still playing phone & email tag with the Mrs Boston, the local director. I am looking forward to sitting down with her to get her insights on what a private non-profit can do to help.





Contacts:

After some issues with the gmail (fosteringfamilies@gmail.com) account we have decided to use FosteringBulloch@aol.com . I am comfortable w/ aol so this should be permanent.



Call me anytime at home 912-852-2796 or my cell 912-690-2498



It isn’t gong to be easy

Starting this organization is not going to be easy. It will pale in comparison to actually opening up your home to a kid in need.



Fostering a child isn’t going to be easy. Dealing with past wrongs and the system and parents and on and on and on. It will pale in comparison to what the kid has already been thru.



Fostering could very well be the hardest thing you or I have ever done. For a dozen reasons, but being difficult doesn't give us a pass. We know Gods heart is for the widow, the poor and the orphans. We know we are to love what he loves and hate what he hates.







Logo

This is the general idea for the logo. The blue kid needs to be a mommy. I am looking for somebody to draw something like this for us to use.





Board



We are looking at a 5 person or so Executive Board to steer the organization. We are currently 1 for 1, asking individuals to serve. Hopefully that trend will continue. Ideally members would have experience with the system ( be it DFCS or Fostering) and a professional background that would contribute to broadening the general knowledge base of the group. PLEASE EMAIL me if you know of someone who fits this description.





EMBRACE



The EMBRACE program is a state program that can be reviewed here: www.embracega.org . It has currently only been rolled out in a few counties and may be new enough, and flexible enough to be a benefit to a more rural demographic than the initial counties it has served. We will hopefully have the EMBRACE director in town soon for a meeting to get a better understanding of the program.





Mission Statement:



This is still a work in progress but the basic tenants will be:

Recruitment
Training/Certification
Support




Recruitment:



Initially this will involve speaking to any and all civic groups that will have us. Every church needs to hear the message (how we have 60 , 70 ,80 however many, churches in this county and have so few homes and so little support for the orphans, b/c that is what these kids are is modern day orphans, is beyond me) ( why I resisted G-d’s pulling on me for so long I don’t know, but do regret)



We also have had a really great offer from local radio to help. Thank You!!!!



Speaking engagements will pale in comparison to front line conversations with people in your daily lives. What I mean is, when you go to the bank you have to talk to the teller about it. When you go to Winnelson, you have to talk to Penny about it. When you go to WABragg, you gotta talk to Rachel and the guys about it. When you are in a clients home and they ask how your kids are, you gotta say “ mine are great, but my heart has been a little burdened lately with this kid I heard about the other day……….” That is the place seeds are planted that work on peoples hearts to open up their homes to these kids.





Training/Certifiaction/Screening:



This is probably going to be the hardest one and the longest time coming. The system is involved (as it very well should be. Absolutely) and there are kinda parallel tracks depending on whether or not you are working with a private agency or DFCS. Going into any more detail than that at this point might expose my ignorance and build barriers to getting good homes opened up for these kids. Suffice it to say, this area is probably going to require money.



Support:

This should be one of the places we can make an initial impact. I am working on getting in touch with all of Bulloch Co’s Foster Parents to get feedback regarding what they think would help. What a private group can do to help. If you know of anyone, please have them contact me.



The names of these programs are works in progress, but here are 2 things that we are working on to positively impact these kids.



· Crossing Over ( thinking of using the word Eber, which is kinda the root word for Hebrew, meaning getting to the other side or crossing over.) This program would allow officers in our county (DFCS, CPS, Statesboro PD, Bulloch Co SD, whatever) to cross over from the normal role they have in these kids lives. Which has a BAD connotation to the kids, even though they are doing a GOOD thing. It would entail events once a month or every two months or so that would put officers in uniform in contact with the kids in Foster care in a very very positive environment. We already have city and county officers who have volunteered for this BEFORE I finished explaining the entire idea. “Let me know when……” is what I am getting from them. Keep in mind these guys are not just commiting themselves, but also THEIR FAMILIES. We need for the foster kids to see “Officer Gawthrop’s” kids run up and hug him around the neck, then play ball with him for a while so that they can begin to see him as a Daddy and not just an officer. Crossing Over from Officer Gawthrop to “Mr. Justin”



o Touch a car day. Kinda like Chic-Fil-A does but in a lower traffic area so that one kid can sit in the front seat with the officer for 10 minutes instead of 10 kids for one minute.

o GSU Baseball/Basketball/Football Game? Anybody know who they could Ask for tickets?

o Water Park Day?

o Jumpy Day?

o Etc…………….

· Community Works If you want to know how YOU can help. This is it. This aims to be a group of service providers that will offer discounts to the fostering community for services they will need in the day to day life of a family. We want you to do, what you do, with a huge heart for the kid that you are doing it for or that is watching you do it. For example, if you are a plumber and you agree to give some sort of discounted rate to families that foster that is GREAT! But, what is even MORE GREATER (sorry Mrs. Brigman!!) is if you take 5 minutes while you are in the house to shoot the breeze with the kids there and make them feel special!!!! Give’m a high five and let them hold the flashlight for you, or whatever. Ask them what they think you should do about the jammed garbage disposal!!! Is this gonna erase the problems they have, NO. Of course not, but you never know when YOU might be the one that cuts thru the exterior and connects with that kid. If you are on this list, these jobs will not just be jobs. You will know ahead of time that there could be a foster kid there and if there are any particular areas to avoid in conversation or to hit on. Putting loving and intentional professionals in these kids lives on a recurring basis. So far we have a hairstylist ( what a great great opportunity to speak Love to a kid!!!) and a Car Dealer and a Plumber who have said they are in!! We are 3 for 3 on asking loving caring professionals to participate!!!









Money:

Some of you have asked about monetary donations. At this point we would not know what to do with them, so keep them. Or give them to Safe Haven, ACTS, etc…… that have a direct daily impact. We are filing for an EIN soon that will allow us to get set up to take donations BUT, for the most part, we WANT YOUR HEART, and NOT your MONEY!!



When we do need money we will ask for it once, clearly specifying the need, and that will be it. We are not being called to do this by a beggar. We will ask, and then go to work and the Lord will provide.



Reminds me of the best teaching ever on tithing. It was given by someone who doesn’t really ever teach on or ask for money as far as I have heard anyway. It went something like this “… you know why you hear so many preachers talking about tithing all the time? It is because YOU ( the people the pastors would be talking to) AREN’T DOING IT!!!!!......” Can’t really say it better than that, really.





Going Forward



Please pray for this endeavor. %99 for the kids who are living in homes that I have no words to describe…

%1 for wisdom as to how this organization should look .



Please ask somebody about this. We need input from anybody who has a thought or experience with this. This need is not only ours. It is statewide, and probably national. But, don’t get brain freeze allow your defense mechanisms to kick and dismiss it b/c the problem is to big to fix. We only need to help 1. One kid, and it will be worth the effort. Not JUST one. There is no JUST one. What if the JUST one was your one. Help us help ANY one and it will be worth the effort.